Friday, May 20, 2011

National Debt Pay-Off

If you’ve had your ear tuned into the news lately, I’m sure you’ve heard that the nation’s debt is on the verge of maxing-out. In other words, we’re about to default on some loans unless we get tricky with the books.

Everyone knows there are two ways to reduce debt: cut spending and/or pay it off. Naturally this triggers a debate on how exactly does one United States of America do this? Who gets the pay cut? Who gets cut-off? Who pays?

My initial thought was to work together. Let’s instigate a national one-time, flat-rate tax. Everyone over the age of 18 pays $5, one time. $5 is doable. $5 is a pizza at Little Creasers, three-hot dogs at Costco, five RedBox movies – surely it’s not too much to ask?! I decided to do the math to see how brilliant my plan was. Vote for me! I’ll reduce the nation’s debt!

SCREEEEEEEEEECH! (This is when my enthusiasm came to a screeching halt…) As it turns out, my piddly $5 per person doesn’t even make a dent! My $5 plan reduces our debt by 0.01%… What the?! It’s not until each person pays $1,000 that we pass the 1% threshold. And the magic number each person can contribute to bail the country from its financial burdens is $57,405. That means a total of $114,810 for my household of two.

US Total Debt: $14,300,000,000,000
US Total Population: 311,383,748
Estimated US Population 18 years + (80%): 249,106,998

After all is said and done, I have decided that I will not be giving the United States of America 57,405 of my dollars to rescue them from the chains of debt. Instead I will offer my two-cents of advice: stop spending money!

Thursday, May 12, 2011


Happy birthday to my beloved! You are my favorite!

(even if you refuse to share your birthday orange rolls with your classmates in fear that you might receive some birthday attention.)

Sunday, May 8, 2011

Ode to Mom

Dear Momma,

Because of you, I am who I am today... and that makes me happy!

Love you tons!
No. 6

PS - Wouldn't you agree that the best is always saved for last?