I know, I said I'd discuss the elephant in the room over three weeks ago. The truth of the matter is the elephant isn't cute. And I've been told that if you don't have anything nice to say, to not say it at all. This is why I've postponed this post.
The elephant in the room is...the fact that we'll be living in Oregon for another four years. And you already know how I feel about
Portland. Yeah, things haven't really changed. I am a horrible wife. What is wrong with me?!?!? My husband has this HUGE accomplishment in his life - in our lives - and the sole thought on my mind is the fact that we'll be living here another four years. I am pathetic.
I guess I was a little too optimistic that we'd take on an adventure elsewhere. Submitting nine applications to nine different schools - I thought maybe the odds were on my side. Lo and behold, I was wrong. I think I'm mostly just disappointed. Disappointed that we don't get to try a new adventure. Frustrated because I feel like I'm stuck. That we'll never leave Oregon. I am fearful that come four years it'll turn into, "well, we've already been here for eight years, and this is where we went to school, and we already know x-amount of dentists to work for - so we should just stay here." Sometimes it seems like my hopes, dreams and desires get trumped by whats "practical". (Or even more so, the will of God. Which I'm still trying to submit my will to His.)
It's not that Oregon is a bad place. It's not. It has a lot to offer. And we do have good family and friends here. The only way I can explain it is - Oregon just doesn't click for me. It's like that cute, smart, funny, well-dressed person of the opposite sex that you were never attracted to. That is what Oregon is to me. I'm just not attracted to Oregon.
If I think about being here for another four years I seriously start to hyperventilate. And have this overwhelming feeling of suffocation. Talk about weird people, I know. I have finally come to the point where I can't think about it. And that is how I've come to terms with my current situation, ignoring it.
Elephant exiting the room...
The good news as of late (besides my smart husband being accepted into dental school) is that spring came early for Oregon! A tender mercy for me, for sure! So with the renewal of life comes my renewal of attitude. I am turning over a new leaf and embracing my current four-year situation. I am going to take advantage of everything Oregon has to offer! I am going to treat this like the adventure I was hoping for elsewhere and make the most of it! And then I'm going to move. :)
Happy Spring!
taking advantage of the willamette river
mt. saint helen's came out to play
...as did mt. hood
one of my favorite things about spring in oregon - driving to/from home and seeing the pink trees on this road
Oregon Coast
Redwood Forest
California Coast
San Francisco
Oakland Temple
ghost car
sexy mountain man Wyatt (okay, this one is for my viewing pleasure...)
