thirty days of 30 - day 30

Brittany, age 30.

Yep, this was the best picture taken of me all day.  Nice...

Please note, I don't look like this in real life.

Day 30 Festivities: Celebrate

I didn’t have anything official planned for the big day.  Really, the two most important things for me were: 1) that I didn’t have to work and 2) that I could spend the day with Wyatt.  Beyond that, I really didn’t care.  And(!), happy birthday to me, I got exactly what I wanted!   I did have some loose plans, but as life goes, things didn’t go as planned.  I thought Wyatt and I could ride our bikes around the lake in the morning and then my friend Phoebe said she’d pack a picnic lunch for me at the swim park.  Well, instead I made an unexpected visit to the doctor.  Lame.  It was a bit disheartening but I told Wyatt I didn’t want it to define my day.  So we just shelved the news, and went on with celebrating me! 

basket!!!

We had breakfast at La Provence.  Which as a side note, I wish I had the shirt that said, “I ate here before it was trendy.”  They used to be located in this old run-down, but quaint, building.  And then this spring they moved to a newly remodeled strip mall, shared by the uppity Zupans.  Ever since, they have been packed with people morning till night!  I just want you to know, I liked it before it was popular.  After the doctor visit, Wyatt bought me a basket for my bike – which I L-O-V-E!!!!  We then headed to the river to cool down because it was 90-degrees!  Yippee!!!  And finally we had a wonderful dinner with Phoebe and David (it was their 14^th wedding anniversary) at a tasty Moroccan restaurant in Wilsonville.  And let me just say here, the food was good, but I am in love with the cook!  Chef Dee is the sweetest, friendliest chef I have ever met.  I would go back just to see her again!

All-in-all, it was a fabulous day!  And thanks to my many family and friends that showered me with love and attention.  It is always appreciated but especially on my 30th birthday!

Something about me: I have had two miscarriages

I’ve debated back in forth in my mind as to whether I would make this fact about me public or not.  Ultimately I decided I would, not for my benefit, but hopefully for the benefit of others. 

I’m sure many people have been wondering what mine and Wyatt’s plans are regarding children.  Yes, we'd like some.  But, as I mentioned before, things don’t go as planned.  This all started about 18-months ago.  Lucky for me, I had been in tune with my body enough to know that it wasn’t working properly if we were to have children.  I presented my hunch to my doctor and she did some tests and confirmed that my assumption was correct.  So she prescribed for me to take Chlomid, a drug used to induce ovulation.  I took it with constant blood tests and monitoring, and after four months my doctor told me it wasn’t working and that there was nothing more she could do, I’d have to see a fertility specialist.  Discouragement!  However, in the meantime between her breaking the bad news to me, and my first appointment with the fertility doctor, she said that I could continue to take the drug.  And it worked!  On the sixth month it worked!

Fast forward to February.  We have our first baby doctor visit, week 11, the one where you get to hear the heart beat.  With high-hopes Wyatt and I skip into the patient room, only to learn that the heartbeat monitor can’t detect the heartbeat.  Not to panic, an ultrasound is scheduled and there they’ll be able to see the baby and confirm everything is okay.  Not so.  It’s confirmed that the baby has died (roughly around week eight) and now we’re faced with the decision on what we want to do next.  We opt for the D and C – quick and nearly painless.  I take the day off from work, the surgery is performed, all is well… And then five days later, I start bleeding, unexpectedly.  It gets worse, and worse, and worse, to the point that I’m curled on the floor in the fetus position because of the excruciating pain.  This lasts for three hours, Wyatt is by my side the entire time.  And then everything passes and I feel completely fine.  Something went wrong with the D and C and I was left to abort things naturally.  That was Leap Day 2012.

I was 12-weeks along this time.  However, I knew several weeks earlier that a miscarriage was on the horizon for this pregnancy.  One day I had the thought pop into my head that this pregnancy was going to end in a miscarriage.  And then I had a literal stupor of thought, I just couldn’t envision things in the future - things with the pregnancy or the baby.   I know it wasn’t my paranoia or concern, I know it was God’s spirit preparing me for what was to come.  This same thing has happened once before in my life.  I compare it to trying to hold a handful of water, no matter how hard I try, it just slips through the cracks.  This is how I felt about the pregnancy.  No matter what I thought, or what I read, or how I tried to manipulate how I was feeling, I couldn’t hang on – it was out of my control.  I knew, without a doubt, that it was going to happen.

When I woke up on my birthday and saw the beginnings of a miscarriage, I wasn’t alarmed.  I was disappointed and I tried to ignore it because I didn’t want to deal with it on my birthday.  But worry got the best of me and we ended up at the doctor.  Again, a heartbeat couldn’t be detected – so the next step was the ultrasound.  Wyatt and I had discussed beforehand that we wanted to do things naturally this time, so we opted from having an ultrasound done.  The writing was on the wall, I already knew it was going to happen.  Lucky for me, things didn’t really progress until 2am Wednesday morning.  (That was the best birthday present of all, not having the entire experience on my day.)  And it continued all the way until 6pm that evening.  There was lots of blood, pain, sweat, and tears – oh, and I passed out once!  But I had Wyatt by my side the entire time and we were able to convince the doctor to prescribe me some Vicodine - which really helped take the edge off the pain.  Truly, for the terrible experience it was, I was able to walk away feeling peace.  And I know it was because I was able to mentally and emotionally prepare for the event. 

I want to shout from the rooftop how much I love Wyatt!  Like I said, he was by my side every minute during each miscarriage.  And I assure you, I wasn’t looking my finest either.  He took on the role of a CNA, changing my towels and bed sheets, supplying me with food and water, giving me my drugs, and just holding my hand.  He really brought new meaning to “in sickness and in health”.  I feel beyond blessed to have Wyatt in my life. 

Lest you think that I’m some kind of super-human, stop.  I have had my share of envy, discouragement, jealousy, questioning, anger, bitterness, and all the emotions that come from an experience of this magnitude.  I still do and think I might until I am blessed with my own babe.  But here is what I do know, I know that Wyatt and I will be blessed with children some day.  I don’t know when and I don’t know how but I know we will.  And that is enough to get me through the end of each day.  Plus, now I can go to Disneyland (not that I will, I just can)!  And I can run again without feeling like I've never run before in my life...

I don’t share these experiences to gain your sympathy.  I just remember how alone I felt after my first miscarriage.  Yet, the statistics of having a miscarriage are very high.  I just feel like the whole subject is taboo and I don’t want it to be.  I found great comfort from those who told me that they had experienced the same thing.  I felt less alone.  And that is the intention of me sharing my experience here, is to help someone out there (even if it is a friend, of a friend, of a friend) feel comfort in their hour of darkness.  I’m sure I’ll be surprised by how many people will now tell me that they too had their share of miscarriages.  And that will help me. 

thirty days of 30 - day 29

Brittany, age 29

Day 29 Festivities: Watch a movie at the Lake Twin Cinema 

Lake Oswego has it's own vintage movie theater - the Lake Twin Cinema.  By no means is it fancy or modern, even so, it's quaintness has attracted me for years and I have always wanted to see a movie there.  Well, tonight was the night!  We went to see the movie Bernie, you know, since I'm in the business...  It was quite entertaining and I really enjoyed it!  Plus, unbenounced to us, it was two-for-one night and we only paid $9!  Yipee!  And, totally uncharacteristic of me, we went to the 9:30pm showing.  Which is usually the time I start winding down for the night.  I know, I'm throwing caution into the wind!

Something about me: I love to sleep.  So much so that I often count down the hours until I can find myself reunited with my cozy bed.  One of my favorite things is taking a nap.  Something I routinely do every Sunday afternoon.  I also frequently take naps in my car during my lunch break.  I especially love doing so during this time of year because my office is COLD and my car is WARM and it facilitates the ideal sleeping conditions.  Ahhhh....

PS - Tomorrow (technically today) is the day.  The BIG 3-0.  At 12:36am I will embark on a new adventure - navigating my thirties.  So long 20's, it was real.

thirty days of 30 - day 28

Brittany, age 28.
This is the year I came down with the flu.  
We bagged our plans and enjoyed a quiet evening at home.

Day 28 Festivities: Open birthday present from my mom

I was going to wait until the big day on Tuesday to open the gift my mom sent me.  But curiosity got the best of me and I decided to see what surprise awaited me today.  My mom knows me well.  She gave me all panda stuff: a cute box with a panda picture, panda stationary, a key chain and the most darling cartoon panda (with dinosaur) t-shirt!  Love it!  Thanks Momma!  

Today was another BONUS ROUND of birthday festivities.  Just as I was on my way to bed, my friend Phoebe texted me that her hubs, David, had made some orange cookies for me - and was it okay if she dropped them off.  It took some convincing but I eventually agreed.  :)  Have you ever had orange cookies?!  They are awesome!!!  And I would know, because remember, I have very strong opinions about cookies. One time we were at the Fillmores and I ate nine orange cookies in one sitting.  Wyatt was sitting next to me the entire time but it wasn't until we drove home and I said something to effect of, "I shouldn't have ate nine cookies", that Wyatt broke out with, "You ate NINE cookies?!!!!"  Who knows where he was?  Thanks Fillmore fam!!!

Something about me: I have had the same reoccurring dream for the past, I dunno, ten-years.  It's the dream where it's finals week of school and I discover that I've been enrolled in, not one but, TWO classes the entire term and NEVER attended class!  The dream has evolved over the years where it has become a dream within a dream.  At the moment I discover I've been enrolled in the classes, I say to myself, "I know this one, it's a dream."  And then I wake up from that dream only to discover that I really was enrolled in two classes that I never attended.  It's quite stressful.  And you'd think after years of being out of school that it'd cease.  Maybe it's sympathy pains for Wyatt?  Another reoccurring dream - waiting tables.  There always seems to be more people to serve than I'm capable of serving.

thirty days of 30 - day 27

Brittany, age 27.  

(At the swim park. My friend Phoebe bought me a picnic lunch.)

Day 27 Festivities: Swim in the Pacific Ocean on the Oregon Coast

Of all the times I've visited the Oregon Coast, I have never swam in the ocean.  The Oregon Coast isn't really a "swimming coast", it's more of a "looking coast."  Mostly because it's always windy and cold - regardless of the inland temperatures.  So I decided today was the day I'd take a dip in the water.  Yikes!  It was COLD!  Seriously, I think I stopped breathing once my entire body was submerged in the water.  I'm happy I did it and won't ever be doing that again.

Today was a BONUS ROUND of birthday festivities! I also went golfing, AND got to go to the Tillamook Cheese Factory for ice cream (rocky road and white chocolate raspberry in a waffle dish) and free cheese samples.  Yay!  It was a good day.

I was humming the Rocky theme here.

And I'm off!

Here's a close up of the above picture.
The moment I fully submerged myself under water.
That tiny splash in the middle of the photo - that's my foot.

Running for my towel.

Wyatt teeing off.

Ice cream!!!

Something about me: I have dark gray eyes.  My mom calls them "gun metal gray" because her grandpa also had dark gray eyes and her mom used to tell her stories about his unique eye color.  She said she could never imagine what the color looked like until she met me.  My eyes tend to change colors and they're often mistaken for blue and even green sometimes.  But they're not.  They're gun metal gray.

thirty days of 30 - day 26

Brittany, age 26.

Day 26 Festivities: Lunch with Wyatt

Sure Wyatt and I eat together a lot... but we rarely eat together on work/school weekdays.  So we met up at Red Robin for my birthday burger.  Yum!

Something about me: I've never broke a bone.  And, I've never had braces (or any other kind of orthodontic appliances).  

thirty days of 30 - day 25

Brittany, age 25.

Day 25 Festivities: Italian soda party

Not just any Italian soda party... an Italian soda party at the swim park!  Which is my favorite summer spot!  We had a great turn out and the little tissue paper parasols were a hit (especially among the kids)!  I had a wonderful time!  The only down side was that I drank too many sodas (just two, which I guess is too many) that I had a belly ache when we got home.  Maybe it had something to do with the fact that I didn't eat dinner before the party?

Mel and me slurping away

Something about me:  I've always liked my name.  However, I also felt frustrated that it became popular with the group of kids just younger than me.  I was able to stay ahead of the crowd throughout my school career.  Believe it or not, I was never enrolled in a class with another Brittany - K through 12 and even during college.  Never, not even at church.  But now that I've grown up and become an adult, all the younger Brittany's (or Britney's, Brittney's, Britni's, Brittni's, Britknee's, et cetera...) have also become adults and have caught up to me.  There's no more segregation in age.  We're all in the same group - adults.  Argh!  There is currently one Brittany in my ward, and three in the Lake Oswego ward  What?!  The feeling of individuality has been lost.

thirty days of 30 - day 24

Brittany, age 24 (roughly).

Day 24 Festivities:  Run with Wyatt followed by eating blackberry pie

Wyatt has taken a recent liking to running.  He's still at the point where he won't let me run with him because (I think) he thinks I am patronizing him.  Which isn't even close to the truth!  So, I thought I'd inconspicuously attempt to run with him after work.  Unfortunately for me, when I got home my neighbor told me that she "just" saw Wyatt leave.  By "just" she must've meant "a while ago" because by the time I rushed inside, threw my running clothes on, and ran out the door to catch him - I was no furuther than two-blocks from our apartment when I found him...on his way home.  Wa-wa-wa....  Wyatt didn't want to run anymore but agreed to walking his route again with me.  Yay! We did run the block closest to our apartment together - just so I could say I ran with Wyatt.  

It was also Grandma Wilson's 88th birthday today!  And in place of cake, we had blackberry pie!  Which is my favorite fruit pie!  YUM!  So I'm counting that as a special day-24 event also.

Something about me:  I love running!  But I'm sure all my bloggy readers already know that.

thirty days of 30 - day 23

Brittany, age 23.

This picture was taken the night Wyatt and I met.  (You can see Wyatt in the bottom right corner.)  You might wonder if we met at a costume party, no we did not.  For whatever random reason, I got the strange idea to dress in my friend's little-girl-that-she-nannied tennis clothes.  I was the only one not wearing normal clothes.  I'm sure that contributed to why Wyatt thought I was crazy.

 I just added this picture because I like it.  This was our canoe trip to Boundary Waters up in Minnesota.  I know you can't see faces but the gal up front is my dedicated blog fan, Josette.  She's also a BFF, whom I miss very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very much!  I'm in the middle with the red bandanna.  This was the same trip where Liz (in age 22 picture) LIED to us and said that she wasn't able to buy the trail mix from Costco like we requested.  (We found it hidden in the trunk of the car once we arrived at Boundary Waters.) Remember that?!  

Day 23 Festivities: Lunchtime matinee movie

I have always wanted to go to the movies during my lunch break.  Every time I am close to reaching my dreams (I know, I aim high), I chicken out and justify my standard eat-in routine.  Not today!  I let nothing stop me!  Including the current terrible selection of movies.  I was committed.  Even if I was taking an extra-long lunch break to watch The Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Dog Days.  I know, like I said, I was committed.  (Plus Tuesday’s are six-dollar movies at the theater right by my work.)  As it turns out, my very very low expectations made the movie quite enjoyable.  I even LOL’d during some scenes.  It was the perfect mid-day work break.  Ahhhh….  Oh, and PS – this was only the second time in my life I’ve gone to the movies alone.  I felt a bit awkward and naked without someone by my side. 

Something about me:  Wyatt is my favorite.  That's what I always tell him, "You're my favorite."  He's my favorite of all.

thirty days of 30 - day 22

Brittany, age 22.

With friend and roommate Liz.

 

Day 22 Festivities: Driving range Watch the sunset Look at the pink sky

Well, I’ve noticed a theme with Mondays.  I’m usually too tired from my weekend partying to muster any energy for… anything.  Today was no exception.  Well, that’s not entirely true.  I did cook dinner, clean two bathrooms, clean my kitchen, and fold two loads of laundry (Wyatt was in charge of washing/drying).  (We have guests staying with us this week.)  By the time we were done eating it was 7:30pm and the driving range closes at 8pm.  Plus, one of us had the grumpies and didn’t feel like going to the driving range.  It was a long day for everyone…

Wyatt suggested that instead, we watch the sunset.  So I quickly researched the time the sun would set and we hurried on our way.  (We don't go anywhere romantic, our sun-spotting preference is at the local community college because it has a giant balcony that has an unobstructed westward view.)  By the time we arrived, we realized that the 8:32pm scheduled time was meant for the coast and not for inland cities where the sun sinks below the distant mountains.  We missed the sun and were left to enjoy residue of the pink sky. 

Something about me:  I was an expat when I was two-years-old.  My dad was an engineer for Ball Corporation and at the time they provided several opportunities for my family to live abroad.  Unfortunately for me, Berlin, Germany was the last stop and I missed out on many of the same experiences my older siblings enjoyed.  Even so, I had quite the list of visited countries that by the time I went to school, I was a world traveler.  I even visited such non-existent countries like Czechoslovakia (now the Czech Republic and Slovakia).

thirty days of 30 - day 21

Brittany, age 21.

Day 21 Festivities: Bread pudding

It's been a couple years since last I made bread pudding.  I love it.  Wyatt loves it.  It is good.  I thought today might be an appropriate day to enjoy the delish dish.  And it did not disappoint!  

PS - Summer weather and temperatures are in full swing!  It was 91d today!  Wyatt's Oregonian'ness surfaced as he felt it was time to unearth our window air conditioner unit and bring it to full working order.  I must admit, it was getting a bit stuffy in our apartment.

Something about me: I love pancakes!  Hence, my overwhelming excitement on my 21st birthday when my roomies bought me a griddle.  Yay!  One time I thought I was such a pancake connoisseur, I challenged my friend (who is a guy, who was a football player, who is six-foot plus, and weighs what a football player should) to a pancake eating contest.  He blew me out of the water.  I held my own.  I seem to remember the contest coming to a stop because we ran out of pancakes.  Had we not, I'm pretty sure I would've won.  (Jasher, do you still read my blog?)

thirty days of 30 - day 20

Brittany, age 20.

Day 20 Festivities: Oregon Air Show  Float the river

We bought a Groupon for the Oregon Air Show a few weeks ago.  It was a steal of a deal - four tickets for nine-dollars each!  (General admission at the gate is 25-dollars each.  What?!)  As it turns out, we didn't read the details of the Groupon until today when we discovered the voucher was good for Sunday only.  Argh!  So we thought we'd show-up today anyway and see if they'd offer us a little sympathy and let us attend anyway.  NOPE!  We were turned away, forced to "enjoy" the show on the other side of the fence.  I was so disappointed I thought I might cry.  Wyatt, was not so disappointed and actually quite relieved that we wouldn't be baking in the hot sun watching airplanes.  (If my brothers Schuyler and Harold were with me, they too would've shed a tear.)

Luckily we had made arrangements with our buds Phoebe and David to float the river!  And what a day it was to float the river - it was 99d!  Happy day!  Phoebe told me it was her birthday present to me.  I think it was one of the best birthday presents I've ever received!  Which, I need to give some props here, Phoebe is the whole reason my Thirty Days of 30 are going down.  It was her idea and something she did for herself when she crossed the decade line.  

The day was perfect for the float.  The water, which is typically ice cold, felt refreshing in the hot sun.  And the company was great!  So, so fun!

Something about me: My favorite animal is the panda bear.  I have hundreds of panda bear stuffed animals and a panda bear blanket that appears at bed time every night.  Wyatt named him Pias Panda since he always seems to be praying.  I also really like baby sea otters.  

thirty days of 30 - day 19

Brittany, age 19.

Day 19 Festivities: Hunt Club Dressage

There is a picturesque horse stable/arena about a mile and a half from our apartment - The Hunt Club.  Ever since we've lived in the neighborhood I've wanted to attend a horse event there.  The problem, I've seen a horse event advertised once in the last five years.  Not to say there hasn't been more, they're just far and few between.  

Coincidently, the summer intern at my work is a horse rider (is there a formal term for that?) and happened to mention to me that she was going to be competing in a dressage at the Hunt Club!  Hot dog!  So Wyatt and I rode our beach cruisers to the arena and watched her "dance" her pony (his name was Daniel Son).  To be honest, I had no idea what was going on and I was really hoping there would be jumping.  As it turns out, it was kinda boring.  Wyatt thought it was all the way boring.  Luckily it was only 10-minutes and Rachel's (my coworker) mom gave us a step-by-step explanation during the entire presentation.  

I did get to meet Daniel Son at the end of the show.  He let me pet his nose which made me REALLY happy!

 fuzzy...

Something about me: I love soft fuzzy things.  Like horses' noses.  And more commonly fuzzy blankets and fuzzy stuffed animals.  I have a fuzzy throw blanket on our couch that I love to wrap myself in.  I also have a fuzzy blanket that happens to resemble a certain animal that I love to sleep with at night.  

thirty days of 30 - day 18

 Brittany, age 18.  

This was taken during Thanksgiving break when I visited my mom in Chicago.  She had to work so I traveled with her to her layover in... Cedar Rapids, Iowa!  It smelled like cows and it was a bit disappointing.  Hence, the tongue.  

You'll also notice that my face is a bit fuller.  Yep, that was during my freshmen year of college.  I was not overlooked by the "Freshmen 15".  

Day 18 Festivities: Movies in the Park

And guess what movie they played… Tangled!  I love, love, LOVE that movie!  We saw some teenagers from church and they matter-of-factly pointed out that we were the only adults at the park that didn’t have kids.  It’s true, we were.  But neither of us cared because it was the perfect weather and a good movie – so we had a wonderful time!  Plus Wyatt said if anyone asked us which kids were ours, we’d just tell them that we hadn’t decided yet.

Something about me: I subconsciously hum when I pull an aggressive (i.e. jerky) move while driving.  I don’t know how long I’ve been doing this for but one day I consciously noticed.  It’s the kind of hum that says, “hmm-hmm-hmm, I’m just minding my own business.”  But really I’m not minding my own business, I’m really speeding up to wedge (i.e. cut off) my way into traffic.   

thirty days of 30 - day 17

Brittany, age 17.

Day 17 Festivities: Getting my hair did

My friend Liz asked me if she could straighten my hair for one of my thirty day celebrations.  Of course I said yes!  She likes doing hair and I like getting my hair done, so it was the perfect combination.  Plus, it's been years since I straightened my hair and I was in the mood for a temporary change.  


Liz did a great job with loose curls and a side pinup with a darling barrett.  The reviews at work were mixed - some loved it straight and some couldn't get passed the usual curls.  Wyatt told me I am his "straight-haired stranger."  I personally liked it for the day.  Thanks LIz!

cheesy piano pose

Something about me: I took piano lessons for seven years, yet you'd never know it.  My favorite part was my weekly visits with my piano teacher, since she was like an adopted grandma to me.  I cried the day she told me that maybe I should stop taking lessons since I wasn't progressing.  Not because I wouldn't be taking lessons but because I'd no longer see her every week.  I have finally come to that all-too-familiar feeling, regret.  I wish I would've put more effort into practicing.  At least I still know how to play "Take Me Out to the Ball Game" by heart!